6.14.2013

Weird-Ass Craigslist Posting, Part 56: Seeking "Quality Asian"



Oh, the stuff you find on Craigslist. It's endlessly amusing and appalling. Like this super-crazy personal ad that I'm told has been making the rounds in API gay circles: Quality Asian for BF and Life Partner - 37.

An "Asian (Chinese American), thirty-seven y/o, 5'11" tall, 155, young looking with fit and smooth built" seeks a suitable mate for dating and possible life partnership. But you can't just be any geek off the street. You have to be a Quality Asian. This person has laid out some pretty strict guidelines for his ideal special someone, including a complex, highly specific scoring system (minimum score: 35 points).

Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean and Japanese men are preferred (+20), but if you're Vietnamese (-5) or Indian (-10), you're going to have to work overtime to impress this guy's high-ass standards:

Since this ad is for serious dating and possible life partnership, I would like to list some of the plus and minus points below. I am trying the comprehensive approach and evaluation of a potential date, instead of a litmus test. In other words, you don't have to meet any one or two criteria, but you have to be overall reaching a certain level of compatibility from my experience.

Ethnic Chinese, ethnic Chinese from Singapore, Taiwanese, Korean,Japanese: +20

Ethnic Thai, Cambodian, Laotian: -3

Ethnic Vietnamese: -5

Ethnic Indian: -10

Mixed ethnicity within the same categories above: no addition or subtraction besides above applied points. Mixed ethnicity across different categories above (only apply the following points, do not apply any points above):

1. one parent is of first category: +8
2. both parents of other categories: -10

Mixed race (assuming part of any Asian ethnicities): -20

Age between 30 and 48: +10

Each 5 years above 48: -5

Each year below 30: -5

Ever had body modification (e.g. pierce, tatoo): -6

Two or more generations of your direct family (including self) went to college: +15

Your socio-economic status NOT exceeding your parents by vast margin: +12

Either or both parents have ever been divorced: -6

Had LTR of 5 years and longer with Asian: +15

Professional in engineering, science technology, law, medicine, research, etc: +8

Professional in fine arts, music, etc.: -8

Professional in other liberal arts (psychology, literature, etc.): -5

Professional in business: -2

Non-professional: -12

Had LTR with only non-Asians before: -15

Previously married with woman and with children: -10

Previously married with woman and without children: +8

Self-identified or registered Republican: +7 (FYI: I, myself, am a Democrat.)

Current homeownership: +12

Assuming base point is 5 points, if your final score is above 35 points, I look forward to hearing from you.
Mr. Perfect is out there... but I think he probably deserves better than this guy. (Thanks, Bao.)