How does one pick up Asian chicks? I can't tell you (but maybe don't refer to them as "Asian chicks," for starters). But maybe our friend Kristina Wong can illuminate the topic for us. The acclaimed comedian/performance artist has just launched an instructive new webseries How To Pick Up Asian Chicks.
Prepare to be schooled. But not in the way you think. Did you know that there are scores of self-published books out there, written by self-proclaimed "experts," on how to pick up Asian women? Titles like Everyman's Guide to Asian Sex, Asian MILF Hunting and How to Get an Asian Girlfriend. Actual books. But do they work?
(No.)
In six hilarious, 2-minute episodes, Kristina enlists the help of Asian American women to read, review and respond to actual excerpts from these books. Commentators include Asa Akira, Amy Hill, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, Helen Hong, Jenny Yang, Lynn Chen, Michelle Krusiec, Tram Le, Victoria To Uyen, Erin O'Brien, Justina Walford, Heeli Kim-Jeng, Krista Suh, Molly Wedgwood, Miki Yamashita and Lianne Lin.
Check out all six episodes:
I think Amy Anderson sums it up best: "I'm vomiting right now."
Of course, Kristina, original founder of the infamous fake mail-order bride site, Big Bad Chinese Mama, has a great deal of experience in this milieu. She says it's time to expose this foul shit for what it is.
"I've infiltrated the pickup artist scene for years, crashed their conventions, and made art about their 'techniques,'" Kristina says. "These guys spread misinformation on Asian American women, and their books are ripe for dissection. It's time to flip the script on the submissive Asian woman stereotype and upend its root cause -- white supremacy."
In support of the series, Kristina created hashtag #HowNOTtoPickUpAsianChicks, which has become an active forum for discussing the lousy ways men try to pick up on Asian women. Here are some of Kristina's favorite tweets so far:
A White man asked me in a bar if it's true Viet women have 2 vaginas. I told him I'm half Viet, so I just have 1. #HowNotToPickUpAsianChicks
— Brandy Liên Worrall (@Brandylien) September 5, 2017
Ask if I bought my boobs bc u think Asian women are all flat. We got all shapes n sizes & none for u😒Ni ben dan! #HowNOTtoPickUpAsianChicks pic.twitter.com/gF4iM7FEHV
— Cindy Chu (@iamcindychu) September 6, 2017
"I lived in Asia for x years. I know what I'm talking about." #HowNOTtoPickUpAsianChicks
— grace hj jung (@aechjay) September 6, 2017
"Hi, my name is Woody Allen." #HowNOTtoPickUpAsianChicks
— Kristina Wong ❄️ (@mskristinawong) September 6, 2017
They're on to you, assholes.
Watch the entire series now on YouTube.
