bao phi's racist ideas for hollywood 3

Awwww yeah. Bao Phi returns with his latest installment of fake Hollywood movie ideas. This one's an epic, super-powered inspirational story:

THE PITCH: The story of young Southeast Asian refugees and their struggles with racism and class-ism in the Midwest as told through the explosive style of Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay!

In an effort to bring the story of race, class, and immigrant struggle to as broad an audience as possible, director Michael Bay radically re-envisions the story of displaced Vietnamese, Hmong, Cambodian, Lao, Thai, and Burmese refugees in the Midwest as a parable featuring the character Chad Peterson, a well-meaning white farm kid. In his first year of college Chad struggles with having a Black roommate and stumbles through the proper etiquette at the International Student's Dinner, all while feeling ignored and unloved by his city slicker peers. He soon becomes best friends with his roommate and begins to learn the ins-and-out's of social interaction when some multicultural bullies with English accents push him around during lunch in front of the whole school.

That night, while listening to his roommate/best friend's Chingy collection, a freak electrical storm fries Chad's Ipod and imbues him with super powers – super powers to end racism - and he becomes CHAD, THE RACISM ANNIHILATOR! See what Michael Bay calls "my version of The Departed meets Spiderman" as the campus literally explodes with Chad's paranormal abilities to end oppression: he proves his liberalism kissing a guy at the Queer Union dance, travels back in time so he can march with Black people for their rights, and bands together with a special cameo appearance by the Beastie Boys as they steel themselves for the ultimate showdown against the evil Red Chinee in an all-out battle to Free Tibet!

Starring Matt Damon as Chad and Cuba Gooding Jr. as Chad's Best Friend, with a special appearance by Lou Diamond Phillips as Che Guevera.
If we're not careful, Michael Bay might just ditch the Transformers sequel and make this his next movie. Another fine idea, Bao. Stay tuned next week for another edition.

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