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7.30.2013

Okay, so this is pretty much the worst thing ever made.



I don't really know where to start with this. At the risk of giving this more views than it deserves -- and it deserves none -- this is the music video for "Asian Girlz" by a band called Day Above Ground, aka a bunch of miniature white dudes in a cage. This racist, yellow fever bullshit is an actual song, and it is possibly the worst song I've ever heard. If you can somehow get past the first minute of this shit, I commend you (honestly, you really don't have to watch this -- just read the lyrics below):




My ears are bleeding. If you didn't catch those lyrics:
Asian girl, She's my Asian girl
You're my Asian girl, You're my Asian girl
You're my Asian girl, She's my Asian girl
Yes, my Asian girl, You're my Asian girl

I love your sticky rice
Butt fucking all night
Korean barbecue
Bitch I love you
I love your creamy yellow thighs
Ooh you're slanted eyes
It's the Year of the Dragon
Ninja pussy I'm stabbin'

Asian girl, You're's my Asian girl
You're my Asian girl, She's my Asian girl
You're my Asian girl, She's my Asian girl
Yes, my Asian girl, You're my Asian girl

Superstitious feng shui shit (what)
Now lay your hair by the toilet
I've got your green tea boba
So put your head on my shoulder
Your momma's so pretty
Best nails in the city
Pushing your daddy's Mercedes

Asian girl, She's my Asian girl
You're my Asian girl, You're my Asian girl
You're my Asian girl, She's my Asian girl
Yes, my Asian girl, You're my asian girl

New Year's in February (February?)
That's fine with me (I guess)
Yeah, shark soup (What? Fuck it, we'll eat it)
Oh, tradition, tradition, tradition, yeah yeah
Baby, you're my Asian girl
You're legally (best kind)
So baby marry me
Come on sit on my lap (right here baby)
Or we'll send you back
And you age so well
I can barely tell
17 or 23?
Baby doesn't matter to me

Asian girl, She's my Asian girl
You're my Asian girl, You're my Asian girl
You're my Asian girl, She's my Asian girl
Yes, my Asian girl, You're my asian girl

Arcadia
J-Town
Alhambra
K-Town
Temple City
Don't forget Chinatown
Get down
Happy endings all over
Bruce Lee
Toyota
Spicy tuny
Sashimi
Tasty Garden
Fried Lice
Sailor Moon
Wonton soup
Spring roll
Tibet
Foot rub rub a down down down
Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra
Tofu
All over you all over me

I assume these lyrical geniuses just ran out of stereotypical Oriental stuff to list off, or else the song would have gone on for another ten minutes. It's the same old racist fetishistic bullshit over and over again -- I remember when Bloodhound Gang released a song just like this over a decade ago. No thanks and f&*k these guys.

The scantily clad actress in the video, by the way, is Levy Tran.

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