vote for "sticky rice"

This is pretty funny... the federal Justice Department is pressuring Boston election officials to translate candidates' names into Chinese characters in precincts with prominent Chinese-speaking populations. Well, that's good. However, the task of translating is not as easy as it sounds: Candidates' names are tough in Chinese . Since there's no Chinese character for, say, "Romney," translators have resorted to finding characters that most closely match the sound of each syllable in the name:

Since there's no Chinese character for "Romney," translators have resorted to finding characters that most closely match the sound of each syllable in the name.

The problem is that there are many different characters that could be used to match the sound of each syllable, and many different meanings for each character.

So Mitt Romney could be read as "Sticky Rice" or "Uncooked Rice." Fred Thompson might be read as "Virtue Soup." And Barack Obama could be read as "Oh Bus Horse."

Galvin's own name could be read at least two different ways, as "High Prominent Noble Educated" or "Stick Mosquito."

But perhaps the most perplexing translation would be for Boston Mayor Thomas Menino's name, which could be read as "Sun Moon Rainbow Farmer" or "Imbecile," or "Barbarian Mud No Mind of His Own."

Obviously, depending on the choice of characters, the translated candidates' names could have an unintended positive or negative meaning. Adding to the confusion, the ballots have to be offered in both Mandarin and Cantonese, creating even more potential variations. Crazy! Personally, I would vote for a guy named "Sun Moon Rainbow Farmer," but would definitely vote against "Barbarian Mud No Mind of His Own."

UPDATE: Here's a more serious take on the issue of Chinese language ballots: The ballot, in translation. And here: Galvin lost in Chinese translation. And here: Activists to rally for ballots in Chinese