not another mail order bride movie

An astute reader (thanks, Koji) sent me these capsule reviews from the Los Angeles Times, which mentions some of the movies that opened in LA last week... There's the intriguing documentary Crossing the Line, about a US army defector who has been living in North Korea since the 1960s. There's also a short review of Richard Wong's great indie film Colma: The Musical, which is currently playing at the Laemmle Sunset 5. But what really caught my eye was the review for The Civilization of Maxwell Bright, which sounds downright awful:

Whose 'Bright' idea was this mess?

You have to wonder what David Beaird, writer-director of the execrable "The Civilization of Maxwell Bright," was thinking when he created his abusive, misogynistic title character (so-named because Maxwell Smart was taken, obviously), then saw fit to foist him on an audience for a criminally long hour and 48 minutes. More astounding is why talented comic actor Patrick Warburton would agree to inhabit such a hateful boor, even if it meant a starring movie role.

Bright, a rich businessman sick of dating selfish crazies, pays a marriage broker (Simon Callow) $100,000 to find him a devoted and subservient Asian bride (hello, what century is this?). Mai Ling (Marie Matiko), a virginal, former Buddhist nun from China, soon lands on Max's doorstep, instantly marries the sadistic jerk, rocks his bedroom and then allows herself to be repeatedly humiliated. Attention Asian Media Watch. Eventually, a boomerang of bad karma forces Max to face his mortality and the picture morphs into a drippy spiritual drama.

An OK supporting turn by Eric Roberts, along with curious cameos by Carol Kane, Nora Dunn, John Glover, Missi Pyle and Jennifer Tilly (as a former Mayo Clinic oncologist, no less), prove everyone just wants to work -- no matter what.

I hadn't heard of this movie... but damn. $100,000 for a devoted and subservient Asian mail-order bride? Sounds like it gets a lot worse from there. Why do we need films like this? Who thought this was a good idea? Why? Why? Why? No thank you.