You've heard all the reactions. You might have strong opinions, one way or another, about Amy Chua's controversial Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
, or Tiger Mother parenting in general. But have you considered tiger mothering in the context of surviving of a zombie outbreak? I mean, really -- have you?In this recent Wired piece, Roger Ma, author of The Zombie Combat Manual
, has a point by point explanation of Why Tiger Mothers Are Superior (During A Zombie Outbreak). Lots of reasons you never really considered... something you might find out the hard way, at the cold hands of the undead. For example:Math SkillsSo the next time you weep for your childhood, or lament the Hardass Asian Parenting you had to endure, consider who you're going to turn to when that inevitable zombie outbreak occurs. You'll want that Tiger Mother around. Just something to think about the next time you're watching The Walking Dead.
“When will I ever use this stuff?” This plaintive refrain can be heard among many disobedient children in the throes of mathematical study. While an argument can be made that accelerated calculus and differential equations have limited use in the post-undead world, a quick analytical wit is essential for surviving a zombie outbreak. Should an element of doubt still lurk in your mind, assess the following two scenarios:
* You are being pursued by a zombie. The corpse’s pace averages 23 minutes/mile. You can run an 11-minute mile. If you run 7.5 miles, with two five-minute breaks, how long before you encounter a zombie again?
* Your weapon can only crush another 35 undead skulls. Your exit is blocked by a room packed with the living dead. The room is 10 x 8 feet, and the average standing zombie occupies a space of two square feet. Can you eliminate all the attackers in the room?
Without basic math competency, the answer to these two questions will elude you, as will your ability to survive in an undead world. (Click here for the actual and reality-based answers to these two problems.)
