lonely lincoln park doctor has a serious case of yellow fever

Blech. Melissa sends me this gross-out Craigslist posting written by some fetishizing fool in Chicago going on about this cute Asian girl he spotted walking down the street, and his ignorant-ass fantasy about "reserved and mysterious" Asian women:
Cute Asian Girl - 35 (Lincoln Park Area)

Walked past you, you wearing jeans, black top.

Looked like you worked in Food Service, maybe a Chinese or sushi restaurant?

You gave me a double take, smiled and walked away.

I was so dumbfounded that a beautiful asian girl (my dream girl) admired me, what is it about asian orientation that makes you irresistable to most white guys? Me anyway. Do asian girls, when they get together as friends ever talk about White guys or are you supposed to stick to your own race?

Maybe that's why asian women are such a fantasy to us, because you'll never let us know, you're very reserved and mysterious! Is it shyness?

I want to be the guy walking down the street with you, the envy of every guy walking down the street, cause you know what they're fantasizing about.

Maybe that would be the beginning of other asian girls becoming more assertive and going after what they really want.

If it was you, or you read this, reply! I don't want another day to go by not knowing you.

I shudder to think that someone else gets to experience you, your laugh, your smile. Can't wait to hear from you.

Any asian girls want to answer any of these questions, i'd love to understand.

Black loafers, jeans, white button down, blue oxford blazer, white pocket square. Do you remember me? Cause I can't think about anything else but you!
Carrying my Northwestern Plastic Surgery Center Blue Duffle Bag, yes, i'm a Doctor, but that shouldn't matter.
Yeah, I know. Gross. Asian girl, you just had a missed connection with the lonely Lincoln Park doctor. It seems the guy didn't have to the balls to do anything about it... Hey! Just like Asian girls who should be "more assertive" about "going after what they really want."

A handful of the reply posts are pretty pathetic or just downright inappropriate. But here's a really great response posted by Melissa's friend, an "absolutely exasperated and angry neighborhood Asian" who's not putting up with this guy's fetishizing nonsense:
Dear Sir,
I'd like to go through your post with you step by step, and perhaps it will become clear to you exactly why no confident, self assured Asian girl will likely ever become interested in you.

Firstly, you make the assumption that, simply because she's Asian that she works at an Asian restaurant. Wow. Really????????????

Then, you make the assumption that Asian women are shy, submissive, reserved, mysterious, and that they rarely "go after what they really want."

As an Asian- American woman myself, I can't say that I am any of the above, except perhaps reserved, since it's fairly common that ignorant men make passes at me, and so I have learned to become much less socially forward than I was in my youth. It isn't shyness, it's annoyance. It can be incredibly frustrating to know that you view me as some sort of curiosity to be satisfied, like some sort of strange new animal or conquest that you feel you need to pursue. I realize that you make assumptions about me simply because of my ethnicity and appearance, but I am not interested in being an ambassador into your exotic sexual fantasies and inquiries.

As well, I'd like to ask the following question:
Are you assuming that most Asian women, given that oh-so-rare chance to, as you put it "go for what they really want," will immediately pursue some supposedly rich, opportunistic American man with a larger penis than her Asian counter part? How very flattering in your favor, but again, incorrect. Bordering on asinine, really.

My eyes are not almond shaped so that you can tell me how pretty they are.
My hair is not silky and black so that you can say "You people always have such nice hair!"
I was not put on this earth to be your latest trend in ethnic obsession.
No, I don't think that Margaret Cho or Ms. Swan impressions are funny.
I get tired of having men try to speak my "native language" to me when most often, they guess incorrectly.
I don't ask you what ethnicity you are, and when you answer "I've got a little Irish in me," I don't ask you if you know any Gaelic.

Clearly it does NOT matter one bit that you are a doctor because all of that education has done very little for your ignorance.

Would you really like to know why no intelligent, self respecting Asian woman in her right mind will ever become involved with you? Because we all know better. And THOSE are the things we discuss when we vent about the men who hit on us EVERY DAY!

At the risk of sounding redundant, how DARE you assume that she works in an Asian restaurant.

You fucking moron.

Your absolutely exasperated and angry neighborhood Asian
Well said, Exasperated and Angry, on behalf of all of us. So, my Chicago friends, if you happen to be hanging out in Lincoln Park, and spot a lonely doctor dude afflicted with a serious case of Yellow Fever, carrying around a Northwestern Plastic Surgery Center Blue Duffle Bag, you know who you're dealing with. You've been warned.

angry archive